Will I Ever Get Married?
Will I Ever Get Married? Alright I did make a mistake which I regret with bigchurch.com. I guess that I learned I will make sure I can afford to take $100 out. I like eharmony, despite the fact Mark was not a good match. I really want to get married. I would like to have children.
Why is it that my parents are so old fashioned when it comes to this? He does not understand this is the 21st century, more people meet on the Internet. Hell, he attended a wedding where the bride and groom met on the internet. They are both Christians but met on a secular site. I meet on Christian sites. There was no chemistry between Darren and I. It became obvious when he finally got long distance but would not spend the money to call me. I called him when he did not have the long distance. I did it, because I was so hurt by what Marvin did to me.
I really would like to get married.
I need to get away from controls perhaps this is why my sister ended up with a husband who seems to have problems keeping jobs for more than a few months at a time. I have a question "Where Are The Men? Are they all dogs or do they care?
I know there are men that will not lead women on somewhere on this earth.
Faith
I closed contact with Mark on one website because he is a Christian in name only. I am glad I found out before I went out with him. I hope Mark comes to a relationship with Jesus. In the Bible it says that a man cannot see the kingdom of God unless he is born again. His last answers proved he was just a very devout church going trying to earn his way into heaven. I serve in the church, but it is because of my love for Christ, not to earn my way to heaven. I sure hope Mark comes to a realization that he needs to be born again. That guy in Tex, seems promising, not to mention he is latino which means dark hair.
Oh well I wonder if I have to contact or talk to Marvin, which in all honesty it is not something I look forward to. If I were to do it. I would prefer to wait till Sunday, so I would not ruin the mood tomorrow night. Another thing if this is what God is telling me to do I want God to set it up, including possibly having my old small group leaders, along with people like Bekah, Tiffany, Cher or Erin. This would be idea. I can say hi to him, however I don't know. The real issue was discovered. Why can't I let this thing go?
Men or Boys
I am wondering if the real issues that really bugs me needs to be addressed even though I am too afraid, but then again I was played.
On another note, I met two men on eharmony. Joey in my town, I don't know about him. I don't if he has made a decision or what. Just because your dad is a minister does not make you a Christian. The guy from Texas, seems more sincere. I hope I get a man this year. I want someone I will marry who loves Jesus with all his heart and cares about me and will respect me.
Pattern
I need to have a sleeping pattern like everyone else. I need to learn to go to bed by 11 or 12 to have a normal schedule.
Wake Me Up When September Ends
There is this song I first heard by Green Day called "Wake Me Up When September Ends" September really began late August. Would have began sooner and did not end until November, even then I had fears. I still at times wonder if September is finally over. I had a great Christmas. I am really thankful that things are/were not as bad as I feared. I still wonder why stuff happened as they did and whether or not he said some disturbing things about me. September is either over or will be over soon.
Not Alone
I am not alone.
No need to isolate self
Some experience
History repeats self
Some things come with a package
Unfortunately
Current Events
I hope that Alito is confirmed. It makes me upset that these democrats who have no agenda is giving Alito a hard time because they don't like Bush.
How do you feel about wire tapping? I favor it if will help protect the U.S from the attack such as another 911.
movies
Recently there are three movies that has got much of the evangelical community thinking.
The ones that many of us have a desire to watch or have watched are Chronicles of Narnia and The End Of The Sword.
The one movie that a lot of us Evangelicals have major issues with is the darling of the Hollywood Left Wing known as Brokeback Mountain. I don't plan on wasting my time and money on this movie.
Mercy
This weekend I heard a message on justice and mercy. One point that stuck with me was how Corey Tin Boon shown mercy to a former guard who really treated her and her sister in an indignant way. I then watch "End Of The Spear" where in all honesty the Saint family showed mercy to the killers of Nate Saint.
This has really got me thinking about some things in my life. Just pray. I am willing to show mercy and forgive, however I still wonder about that blog posting.
A Theme of Proverbs
Integrity is
An asset quite important
Really important
It is important
That it is put into practice
God does value it
Not All There Yet
Life is not how meant
But it can be in a sense
Will not be perfect
However some things
Can operate as should be
Despite not all there
Definition of Life
One can define life
As a game in of itself
Living is the game
Purposeful Stranger
Not long ago friends
In a sense, even though you
Sure knew how to play
As a fiddle played
Was how you played me with time
Lots at times online
Did you know that toyed
With emotions, Causing me
To fall over you
Once the emails cease
No explanation given
Tall tales about me
Fabricated tales
Are told, Eventually
Learn this before told
Of the tales you told
Not long ago, Attention
Was given to me
Inappropriate
Attention, for any girl
To recieve from guy
Then go ahead lie
Fabricate a great story
To flatter yourself
Did I really know
Who you were? It was a game
Emotions were played
I will ignore you
As much as possibly can
Purposeful stranger
Purposeful stranger
Is how I see you after
Lies told about me
Risk
I must take a risk
Just give me wisdom on how
To approach subject
Why is it no choice
But to approach this whole thing
In head on fashion
