Today
I am a little overloaded, even though I should not be. I got more time this time around, which means I can afford to call Solutions and Dawson and Volt on my cell, so I can leave with parents on Monday.
However should I be so damn overloaded. Why should I care what people think, even if it seems like my life is totally messed up at times. Good thing I am going to my friend Bekah's party to avoid lectures about what the Frikkin Hell I am supposed to do with my life. I am not at church, because of her party. The party is to celebrate getting her masters in social work.
Anyway could you pray I get some work this week.
I interviewed at 1 place, which would not be a fit. It might be too stuffy for my liking, not just that but I would have to be on the phone for most of the day. A lot of my dressy pants for the summer are crop pants and they might not be acceptable for that environment. However if I get the job I will have to take it. Hopefully I will get a job with a good fit. If they offer it, I will have to take it.
I wish I knew how to make contacts. I can only do so much and sometimes I need some me time. I would like to write Christian more of an email. I might need to send him a card to tell him I am sorry he lost a great friend he worked with.
On My Mind/ Doors shut
I am downloading stuff. I have a job possibility. I really need some work, pray that God comes through. Pray that I get something soon. When my family is around, I am going to find away to not care so much about what people think. Why should I care. I know I should be working on getting getting a job. I however hope somebody who believes in prayer is reading this. Hopefully you have not been offended too much by my posts. I went to Job Club, which was good.
Yesterday I went to a staffing agency and I am rather frikkin pissed about stuff that happened 4 to 7 years ago. Why is it that the stupid mistakes I made in the past are haunting me still. I know this door was shut. The last job was data entry. I can do light data entry, but I must not have been fast or maybe they just did not like me or whatever. I recall there was one IT who was a bit bitchy, who accused of moving the blasted computer, something I would not do. I had an issue with another temp who could be nice but very bossy. She thought I made too much noise with the damn stapler. Let me do my job. I guess if people don't like you, they just screw with you. Screw the people who screwed me over.
4 yrs ago I asked for help through VBR which was a joke, and caused more damn harm than good. I don't trust the counselors. I might maybe trust Theresa since I knew her through Crusade. However if I went to her for help, maybe I would try to avoid the frikkin bureaucracy. Beth was nothing more than a fleecing of tax payer money.
I need a permanent job so I don't have to put up with crap. This bs really happened with the Columbus Public Schools. Clinton and Indian Springs the principals were too damn uppidy.
I need a job very, very, very soon. Pray I get a job soon. I really like to be focused. Just show me how to get a job.
God must show up
God has to show up and provide me with something. I am not damn well farting away an opportunity. I however have this constant an anxiety attack. That seems to be the story of my life.
Anyway, I applied for a job that could be close to half of what I made at Pearson. I DON'T WANT THIS FRIKKIN DAMN JOB! I however applied for the frikin thing.
Why Do I Even Care
On Sat night I wondered if the little boy and little girl who I saw was Marvin's neice and nephew. They looked around the age they would be. Marvin and I talked way too much. I must confess I was really curious, however I don't want to talk to Marvin if I can avoid it. We talked way too much. I know he and his brother in law were buddies, yet I did not see his sister. Anyway talk later.
Marsha
on my mind
I will admit I would just assume avoid some people who I have to love because they are my relatives. It would be best for my sanity. Besides I love them, but it has caused an anxiety attack.
On my mind
I am in the Whetstone Library typing. I applied for a position at Kroger Marketplace. The pay might be too low. I really don't want to work for Kroger. I was paid well with Pearson. My weekend job, pays me around $7 an hour. I fear their pay would be shitty. I hope I get a good well paying job. I will admit, I am really afraid. Why has life took me where I am at?
$7 is horrible as well. I have a college degree. I hate my life a lot these days. However, hopefully something will work out. I don't want to work retail due to a situation with my foot. I however feel obliged. Something needs to happen soon or I don't know what I will do. Anyway, talk sooner.
Marsha
