Friday, May 26, 2006

Must Confess

I must confess I miss someone who I have not seen in almost a month. I hope I see Dave. If Dave found a wonderful girl, fine. However I kind of like Dave.

What Do I Have To Lose

I am going to start submitting my poetry and go out for a crazy job in addition to what I usually do. What the heck?

What do I have to lose?

Anyway I spent 3 to 4 hrs with the Lord. It helped relieve me some.

Monday, May 22, 2006

Major Concern

It is not like I have not been doing anything.

I have been doing quite a bit. I want to get out of retail. I have a friggin college degree. I am trying to get out. I might be better off from the face of the earth.

Yellow Wallpaper/Why am I here?

One of my favorite stories I read back in college was The Yellow Wallpaper. I reread it 2 years ago. It is one of my favorite stories because I can relate to the Charlotte Perkins Gillman's main character.

I know my dad meant well, but if anything it did the opposite. That is forgiveable, but the bs my brother gave me I am rather upset about. I hate where my life is right now. I AM A SCREW UP! Why am I here?

I hope this is the year things really turn around. One part of me tells me things are going to turn around, yet I don't see it. That part wonders why I am here. Perhaps I will call one of my friends. I don't want to die, but I might be better off not around.

Is there a novicane for what I am experiencing.

At least I have a job and I want to trust God will come through. At least I have more of a direction in that I know I am supposed to work 2 jobs, perhaps on my way home I will stop at the Northern Lights Library to look into publishing my poetry especially Dance and Dance of Chance.

Anxiety Level

My anxiety levels are up today, because I don't Where the Hell to look for jobs. I am posting my resumes online.

My dad is giving me FRIKKIN CRAP ABOUT how to look. He is so frikking out of it. I have work, but I HATE MY LIFE.

Now if I can make money off the poetry I have wrote.