Saturday December 17
Today Melanie found herself a new car. I am glad my parents did not have to fly and then drive back from S.C
I went to church after work and Pastor Rich shed light on Leviticus with The Day of Attonement. Afterwards I went for prayer about the stuff I have been dealing with for time. I must completely heal.
Let me say May God bring justice and mercy into this whole situation that I would just assume forget.
Update on The Wish List/ Prince Charming please
Tomorrow my parents will go look for a car with Melanie in addition to shopping. I am glad they are not going to S. C. to get a cheap car. In all honesty, going six hundred miles is rediculous. Hopefully she will still get a car. It would be nice if God provides me with Prince Charming, not just a character with some charm who will appear to win me and then all the sudden drop off after weeks of emailing me left and right. No fictious life.
I want reality, that will lead to that romance with Prince Charming, not just some character.
Target Ads
I am not happy with the ads Target has put out this year. They used to be more appropriate to the Christmas season. The ads would be more appropriate to New Year Ads, not necessarily Christmas. It is a disappointment that they have given into this force.
Christmas Wish List
Christmas is very close. It is obvious for I heard The Muppets 12 Days of Christmas.
Anyway, here is what I hope I get as well as a wish for Melanie.
For Melanie I hope she gets that nice used car safely by Christmas. I hope my parents don't have to go to S. C. to get the car. I hope the weather cooperates so it can happen. I hope my uncle drives it up and then flys to Columbia. Melanie's car is a piece of junk. It is not as bad as that car in the crazy song "Rust and Snow" but it is crappy.
For me, I really would like a real relationship with someone special who will respect me and not see me as a game. It would be nice to straighten out the mess somehow very soon. I hate the fact my reputation could have been tarnished.
Hopefully I will get someone who will not do that. It would be nice if it came this year.
Blow up man
I seem to suffer in the romance dept. Anyway, I can't seem to find a Christian man, so perhaps a blow up would work the best, since there seems no hope in that department. Besides blow ups will not play games and can't lie. Sure they can't talk, however they can't bs.
Haikus
What a fool I was
To fall for stupid questions
About chips I like
What was that about
Anyway, evidence will
Not be deleted
Those emails sent to
Somehow woo my heart only
Leads to a heartbreak
Lies are said in turn
Instead of courage to end
This communication
False accusations
Are made about me, Instead
Acting cowardly
Must truly move on
Wonder how reputation
Stands with this whole mess
Songs
I was listening to the River and heard the song that goes "We Live, we love, we forgive and and never give up, For the days we are given we are to live and love and the day we are meant to live and to love. And then I heard the Christmas song All is Well. These songs really relate to something I am going through.
I want to love people and serve God. One of my fears was confirmed. I am in the process of healing from it all. Oh well, hopefully I can completely recover. I just wonder how many people have heard the crap. I must say I learned just how destructive the wrecking ball has been. However maybe this thing is not as bad as I fear. I have evidence on my one address about this mess, proving it takes two. I just want my reputation rescued.
Today
I got the nerve to read another blog from someone who has not experienced as much as I have. Anyway, I learned about more about this big deception I was victim of. I was not only lied to but lied on once this whole fictious online thing stopped without being notified. This person lied rather than telling me he could no longer email me. I have forgiven him, however I am upset that he did this to me rather than being truthful. He accused me of stalking him when he damn well started flirting with me over a year ago by talking to me at a time which was not approriate. I am glad he does not flirt with me anymore. He started flirting and then started emailing me and I emailed him. He would even flirt with me back in June and July. In August he lies on me not just to me. I emailed him and told him I did not appreciate it after reading this tonight. I want to heal and forgive him. I have to continually forgive him. Why can someone who calls himself a Christian lie the way he did.
I will say hi, just because it is the Christlike thing to do. I was rather sick from this blog for there was truth to that fear. I have forgiven him. I however avoid him as much as possible. I can't trust him for the way he lied about me.
Why didn't I remember Melissa's experience with Brian back in college. Melissa and Brian however were wonderful people with great hearts however they spent a lot of time online and it went ugly as I recall hearing Melissa talk about this whole thing once it ended.
Anyway, I believe that I can hopefully heal from this whole mess. I would like God to bring someone special in my life. Someone who will not play me at all. Will not lie to me and then lie on me when he decides to drop me when he does not have the courage to tell me. I hope that God brings about a happy ending.
